However, one thing that I would like to address is something that I have heard more than once since that Sunday. It seems that once you say you don’t believe in the One, then people start quoting Scriptural examples on you. More specifically, “What do you do with Genesis 24?”

May it be that when I say to a girl, ‘Please let down your jar that I may have a drink,’ and she says, ‘Drink, and I’ll water your camels too’ — let her be the one you have chosen for your servant Isaac. By this I will know that you have shown kindness to my master.”
Before he had finished praying, Rebekah came out with her jar on her shoulder. She was the daughter of Bethuel son of Milcah, who was the wife of Abraham’s brother Nahor. The girl was very beautiful, a virgin; no man had ever lain with her. She went down to the spring, filled her jar and came up again.

~ Genesis 24:14-16

Now, I wouldn’t be so bold as to say that Isaac (or perhaps more appropriately Isaac’s servant) was wrong for acting this way. First of all, I would like to say that I believe this event to be historical and accurately recorded. However, to use this passage as a roadmap for spouse-finding is simply a short-sighted way to live. In fact, in Scriptures, there is another instance where God specifically reveals who someone is to marry.

When the LORD began to speak through Hosea, the LORD said to him, “Go, take to yourself an adulterous wife and children of unfaithfulness, because the land is guilty of the vilest adultery in departing from the LORD.” So he married Gomer daughter of Diblaim, and she conceived and bore him a son.

~ Hosea 1:2-3

I have heard this passage used as a justification of a believe marrying a non-believer. That is a gross misuse of Scripture. Neither of these passages are laying out an example for us to follow. Rather they were historical events that were meant to serve a specific purpose in God’s plan of revelation.

Isaac married Rebekah, which gave birth to the third generation of Israelites. Abraham, Isaac, Jacob, Joseph. We hadn’t even gotten past the first generation of Abraham’s descendants. Could it be possible that God was revealing a specific person to that servant in Genesis 24 in order to fulfill his promise to Abraham and his descendants? The Hosea/Gomer marriage was a specific prophetic marriage that was used to illustrate God’s covenant with the Israelites.

So, unless you believe that God is specifically choosing your spouse to either carry on his special covenant with his people or to illustrate the unfaithfulness of his covenant people, then these might not be the verses that you post up on your wall to claim the promise of a spouse.

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Aside: Just as a little aside, I think it’s funny how whenever someone believes that someone is the One, he/she happens to be very attracted to that person as well. Now, I’m not saying that physical attraction isn’t part of marriage (it is, or else I wouldn’t have married Theresa =D). However, let’s say that we pray for the camel-watering woman to walk into our lives. What happens if that person is short, fat, dumb, ugly, not a good fit? Do we chalk it up to our premature timing and wait for the next candidate?

I’ve spoken to people who say that they want to marry someone who has a heart for missions. And that’s great, but let’s get real, because that’s not the ONLY criteria, is it? In fact, I’ve seen situations where these people get pursued by people with a huge heart for missions, but they’re not up to snuff physically. Guess how far those relationships progress? I guess it wasn’t JUST about heart for missions, was it?

My point is simply that at the end of the day, we are attracted to who we are attracted to. And I people use their “convictions” to try and confirm what we want. In actuality, it’s not a conviction as much as it is a desire.

There’s nothing wrong with wanting to marry someone. There’s nothing wrong like feeling attracted to someone. But let’s not paint our pursuit of (the opposite) sex as merely obedience to God’s will in your life, because it’s so much more than that.